var lines = new Array( "The Coronation at Covadonga of Alkhamah's victor, Don Pelage", "The Russian singer and Sch\u00F6nberg living in Holland as exiles", "The deaf cat on the top floor with one blue & one yellow eye", "Barrels of sand being filled by order of the fumbling cretin", "The miserly old woman marking all her expenses in a notebook", "The puzzlemaker's backgammon game giving him his bad tempers", "The concierge watering potted plants for residents when away", "The parents naming their son Gilbert after B\u00E9caud their idol", "A bigamous count's wife accepting his Turkish female rescuer", "The businesswoman, regretting that she had to leave the land", "The boy taking down the bins dreaming how to write his novel", "The Australian round-the-worlder and her well-dressed nephew", "The anthropologist, failing to locate the ever-evasive tribe", "The cook's refusal of an oven with the self-cleansing device", "1% sacrificed to art by the MD of a world-wide hotel company", "The nurse casually leafing through a shiny new photomagazine", "The poet who went on a pilgrimage shipwrecked at Arkhangelsk", "The impatient Italian violinplayer who riled his miniaturist", "The fat, sausage-eating couple keeping their wireless set on", "The one-armed officer after the bombardment of General H.-Q.", "The daughter's sad reveries, at the side of her father's bed", "Austrian customers getting just the steamiest "Turkish Bath"", "The Paraguayan odd-job man, getting ready to ignite a letter", "The billionaire sporting knickerbockers to practice painting", "The Woods & Water Dept. official opens a sanctuary for birds", "The widow with her souvenirs wrapped in old weekly magazines", "An international thief taken to be a high-ranking magistrate", "Robinson Crusoe leading a very decent life style on his isle", "The domino-playing rodent who feasted on dried-out Edam rind", "The suffering "word-snuffer" messing around in old bookshops", "The black-clad investigator selling the latest key to dreams", "The man in vegetable oils opening a fish restaurant in Paris", "The famous old soldier killed by a loose Venetian chandelier", "The injured cyclist who then married his pace-maker's sister", "The cook whose master ingested only eggs and poached haddock", "The newly-weds taking credit over 2 yrs to have a luxury bed", "The art dealer's deserted wife, left for an Italian Angelina", "The childhood friend reading the biographies of her 5 nieces", "The gentleman who inserted into bottles figures made of cork", "An archaeologist researching the Arab kings' Spanish capital", "The Pole living quietly in the Oise now his clowning is over", "The hag who cut the hot water to stop her son-in-law shaving", "A Dutchman who knew any No. could be but the sum of K primes", "Robert Scipion devising his supremely clever cross-word clue", "The scientist learning to lip-read the deaf-mute's equations", "The Albanian terrorist serenading his love, an American star", "The Stuttgarter businessman wanting to roast his leg of boar", "Dod\u00E9ca's owner's son preferring the porn trade to priesthood", "A barman speaking pidgin in order to swap his mother-goddess", "The boy seeing in his dream the cake he had not been allowed", "7 actors each refusing the role after they'd seen the script", "A deserter from US forces in Korea allowing his squad to die", "The superstar who started out as a sex-changed guitar-player", "A redheaded white man enjoying a rich maharajah's tiger hunt", "A liberal grandfather moved to creation by a detective story", "The expert penman copying suras from the Koran in the casbah", "Angelica's aria from Arconati's Orlando requested by Orfanik", "The actor plotting suicide with the help of a foster brother", "Her arm held high a Japanese athlete bears the Olympic torch", "Embattled Aetius stopping the Huns on the Catalaunian Fields", "Selim's arrow hitting the end wall of a room 888 metres long", "The staff sergeant deceasing because of his rubber-gum binge", "The mate of the Fox alighting on Fitz-James's final messages", "The student staying in a room for six months without budging", "The producer's wife off yet again on a trip around the globe", "The central-heating engineer making sure the fueljet ignites", "The executive who entertained all his workmates very grandly", "The boy sorting medical blotters he'd been collecting avidly", "The actor-cook hired by an American lady who was hugely rich", "The former croupier who turned into a shy, retiring old lady", "The technician trying a new experiment, and losing 3 fingers", "The young lady living in the ARdennes with a Belgian builder", "The Dr's ancestor nearly solving the synthetic gem conundrum", "The ravishing American magician and Mephisto agreeing a deal", "The curio dealer's son in red leather on his Guzzi motorbike", "The principal destroying the secrets of the German scientist", "The historian, turned down 46 times, burning his 1200-pp. MS", "A Jap who turned a quartz watch Co into a gigantic syndicate", "The Swedish diplomat trying madly to avenge his son and wife", "The delayed voyager begging to have her green beans returned", "The star seeking admission by meditating a recipe for afters", "The lady who was interested in hoarding clockwork mechanisms", "The magician guessing answers with digits selected at random", "The Russian prince presenting a mahogany sofa shaped in an S", "The superfluous driver playing cardgames to use up his hours", "A medic, hoping to make a mark on gastronomy with crab salad", "An optimistic engineer liquidating his exotic hides business", "The Japanese sage initiating in great anguish Three Free Men", "A selftaught old man again going over his sanatorium stories", "A relative twice removed, obliged to auction his inheritance", "Customs & Excise men unpacking the raging princess's samovar", "The trader in Indian cotton goods doing up a flat on the 8th", "French-style overtures brought to the Hamburg Opera by a Hun", "Marguerite, restoring things seen through a magnifying glass", "The puzzlemaker with his ginger cat taking the name of Ch\u00E9ri", "The nightclub waiter, legging up on stage to start a cabaret", "The rich amateur leaving his musical collection to a library", "A housing and estate agency woman looking at that empty flat", "The lady doing the Englishman's black cardboard puzzle boxes", "The critic committing 4 crimes for 1 of Percival's seascapes", "The Praetor ordering 30000 Lusitanians to be killed in a day", "A student in a long coat staring at a map of the Paris metro", "The building manager, trying to solve his cash-flow problems", "The girl studying the craftsman's rings to sell in her store", "Nationalists fighting the Damascene publisher who was French", "A little girl gnawing at the edges of her shortbread cookies", "The maid, imagining she'd seen the evil eye in an undertaker", "A painstaking scientist examining rats' reactions to poisons", "The pranking student who put beef stock in vegetarians' soup", "A workman gazing at his letter, as he leaves with two others", "The aged gentlemen's gentleman recomputing his nth factorial", "The staggered priest offering help to a Frenchman lost in NY", "The druggist spending his fortune on the Holy Vase of Joseph", "The jigsaw glue being perfected by a head of a chemistry lab", "That gent in a black cloak donning new, tight-fitting gloves", "Old Guyomard cutting Bellmer's sheet in 2 through the middle", "A gay waltz being written by an old friend of Liszt & Chopin", "Agreeably drowsy after lunch, M. Riri sitting at his counter", "Gallant Amerigo learning a continent was to be named America", "Mark Twain reading his obituary long before he'd intended to", "The woman polishing a dagger that was Kl\u00E9ber's murder weapon", "The college endowed by its ex-rector, an expert in philology", "The single mother reading Pirandello's story of Daddi, Romeo", "The historian who used pseudonyms to publish rubbishy novels", "The librarian collecting proof that Hitler continues to live", "A blind man tuning a Russian prima donna's grand piano-forte", "A decorator making the most of the young pig's crimson bones", "The agent trading cowries believing he'd make millions at it", "The disappointed customer who in dyeing her hair lost it all", "The assistant librarian using red pencil to ring opera crits", "The lovelorn coachman who thought he'd heard a rodent mewing", "The kitchen-lads bringing up hot tasty snacks for a grand do", "The nurse's milk jug spilt on the carpet by two naughty cats", "A Tommy and his bride-to-be stuck between floors in the lift", "The bookdealer who found three of Victor Hugo's original MSS", "The English "au pair" reading an epistle from her boy-friend", "The ordnance general who was shot in the lounge of his hotel", "The doctor whom loaded fire-arms forced to carry out surgery", "Safari-buffs with their native guide - posing for the camera", "The French prof, getting pupils' vacation assignments marked", "A beautiful Polish woman and her wee son dreaming of Tunisia", "The judge's spouse whose pearls had cooked black in the fire", "The cyclist struggling for recognition for his 1-hour record", "A conscript startled on seeing his old physics schoolteacher", "The ex-landlord dreaming of a "hero" of the traditional kind", "A conductor rehearsing his band for 9 weeks, again and again", "A gifted numerate, aspiring to construct a massive radiomast", "Antipodean fans giving their idol a present of 71 white mice", "The Spanish ex-concierge not too keen to unjam the lift door", "Listening to an enormous phonogram, a smoker of an 89c cigar", "A choreographer, returning to torment the loveless ballerina", "The man who delivered wine on a trike doing the hall mirrors", "An obviously pornographic old man waiting at the school gate", "The botanist hoping an ivory Epiphyllum would carry his name", "The so-called Russian who solved every brainteaser published", "The infant Mozart, performing for Louis and Marie-Antoinette", "A sword-swallower who on medication threw up a load of nails", "A man who made religious articles dying of cold in the woods", "Blind horses, deep down in the mine, hauling railway waggons", "A urologist musing on the arguments of Galen and Asclepiades", "A handsome pilot looking for the castle at Corbenic on a map", "The carpenter's workman warming his hands at a woodchip fire", "Visitors to the Orient trying to solve the magic ring puzzle", "A ballet maestro beaten to death in the U.S.A. by 3 hoodlums", "A princess, who said prayers at her regal granddad's bedside", "The tenant (for 6 wks) insisting on full checks on all pipes", "A manager who managed to be away for four months in the year", "A lady who owned a curio shop fishing for a malosol cucumber", "The man who saw his own death warrant in a newspaper cutting", "The emperor thinking of the "Eagle" to attack the Royal Navy", "Famous works improved by a celebrated artist's layer of haze", "Eugene of Savoy having a list made of the relics of Golgotha", "In a polka-dot dress, a woman who knitted beside the seaside", "The Tommies enjoying girls' gym practices on a Pacific beach", "Gedeon Spilett locating the last match in his trouser pocket", "A young trapeze artist refusing to climb down from his perch", "Woodworms' hollow honeycombs solidified by an Italian artist", "Lonely Val\u00E8ne putting every bit of the block onto his canvas" ); function rndnumber(howMany) { return Math.floor(Math.random() * howMany) } function choose(s) { return s[rndnumber(s.length)] } function emit_mode_demploi () { return choose(lines); } function change_mode_demploi() { document.all.modedemploi.innerHTML = emit_mode_demploi(); } var lvmde_timer; function start_lvmde_timer() { change_mode_demploi(); lvmde_timer = setInterval( "change_mode_demploi();", 100 ); } function stop_lvmde_timer() { clearTimeout(lvmde_timer); } window.onunload = new Function("stop_lvmde_timer()");